I know that I may not be warm and talkative to every one because I can only share what I think to the people that think like me too. Why? If I say it to 'you' then u start to judge me. Is it because I'm not as clever as u? Hello please, so far I've passed all my exams that ever existed fairly well, BUT YOU?!! Is it because I don't read books as much as u do? Or is it because I don't dwell with other people's business like u do? Or is it because I don't study as hard as u do? Oh, please.
I know that I too sometimes make mistakes and I'm sorry for that. But I learned that people's mind does not blend with their mouth. I'm pretty sure that I'm not the most likeable person. You don't talk to me the same way to your other friends. I can see through your eyes no matter how thick your contact lenses or spectacles or even your naked eyes could be.
It is hurt though when sometimes I tried hard to blend with those people but things just don't come easy. It is hurtful enough to see all of your hateful glare and fake laugh. I gotta be strong because I can't change myself to be like you. I definitely want to change to be a person whom you'll like but maybe I better off be silent. I don't want to hurt you although you hurt me a lot. Maybe this is all my fault too. I don't want to see you shed any more tears because of me although I may do so because of you. But you'll never know, because you never care. What I did to you was far more sinned than what you did to me. Right? Because I'm no one and nobody would feel my existance or even when I'm gone.
I have a strong heart, yet fragile at the same time. I just want to live with you happily until the very last day. Whatever happens, all of you will still be remembered because you are part of my journey. I would like to apologise once more to you and you and you and all of you. I cannot be like you because I am for whom I am. Hate me or love me, I'm still gonna shine.